Is there any other way?

That picture of Scott Wolf on Kevin's blog reminded me of my grandmother. No, before you ask, witty as I know you are, she looked nothing like Mr. Wolf. She loved Party of Five. Really. She used to say I looked like Scott Wolf, which is not true. I look more like Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje, just not as big. But anyway, she couldn't wait for PoF night. I tried watching it with her a couple time, because we all loved Jennifer Love Hewitt, but I never really got into the show.

She also liked Beverly Hills 9021031415, and that was my fault. I used to watch a show called They Came From Outer Space. Yeah, it was as cheesy as it sounds, but I was like 13, and teens have bad taste. 90210 led into Outer Space, so I would catch the end of it most of the time. Then I started making sure to watch it all. Then They Came was canceled and Jesus wept. Having nothing better to watch, I started caring about Brandon and Kelly and Steve and California and that guy who one of them loved and he played guitar and sang a crappy song that got actual airplay for a while and I'll be damned if I can remember how it went but I am sure it's for the better anyway because then it would be stuck in my head and I would have to hear it all night and my run on sentences would suffer.

And remember how Brandon would fake-punch Steve in the intro? Da-na-na-naa, na-na-na-na... Punch, Punch... I used to do it along with him.

She was pretty upset when The Hills got the boot.

Yes, a lot of other cakers have long posts about religion and politics and world views, and I am posting about shows from the 90's. I know.

Kyle

So after the movie was over, and the credits were rolling, I turned around and made eye contact with the middle-aged couple sitting behind us.

The lady looks at me, looks at her man, and looks back at me.

I say, in a rather pleasant tone, "I just wanted to thank you both for talking throughout the film. It made a bit more interesting."

They both gaped at me, as if I had just told them I urinated into their sodas when they were not looking. I turned back around and continued watching the credits.

They didn't say anything to me. Because, what can you say when you've been called out for being an inconsiderate ass?

Don't even get me started on the lady who brought her three-year-old to Hostel.

K

Because it amused me, and I have no life this afternoon. My own survey. Copy this and fill it out. I will be watching.

Everyone has their firsts.

First time you painted a house:

First time you missed the bowl:

First time you stepped in doodie:

First time you misspelled a word:

First time you broke a guitar string:

First time you realized that growth was not there a week ago:

First time you saw Mommy kissing Santa:

First time you cut your own hair:

First time you got plastered on purpose to numb the pain:

First time you sneezed and something came out of your nose and landed on someone else:

Everyone has their lasts.

Last time you painted a snail:

Last time you had to pee so bad you thought about just pissing your pants:

Last time you smiled:

Last time you ate something that was not yours:

Last time you broke a cymbal:

Last time you blamed someone else:

Last time you did something odd because you thought you were alone, but you weren't:

Last time you wasted time on stupid blog posts:

Last time you shaved your right thigh because your wallet rubs and gives you ingrowns:

Last time you shaved your left thigh, just for symmetry:

Should I get my boobs done?

Ruffs

Everyone has their firsts...

First real best friend: A guy named Justin.

First school: East Point Elementary.

First Screenname: I don't remember.

First Cell phone: I don't have a cell phone and I refuse to get a cell phone. F**k the man.

First funeral: My great grandmother.

First pet: A mix lab named Sam.

First piercing/tattoo: I got my ear pierced when I was 12 and I took it out a month later.

First big trip: Probably San Diego.

First flight: I think it was from El Paso to Dallas.

First celebrity love: Alyssa Milano.

First time out of the country: Just over the border to Juarez, so my grandmother could score come black tar heroin.

Kidding about the heroin.

First job: At a kiosk in a mall.

First MySpace friend: I don't have a MySpace page. Do not invite me.

Everyone has their lasts.....

Last person you hugged: A Hawaiian.

Last song you heard: Shiver by Coldplay. ( I got tickets!)

Last car ride: Does driving myself home from work count? I barely pay attention and it's a lot like riding along.

Last time you cried: At King Kong. I told him not to climb the building. I TOLD HIM!

Last movie you watched: Hostel. And part of The Sure Thing earlier today.

Last food you ate: Squid Jerky.

Last person of the opposite sex that you talked to: A Hawaiian.

Last item bought: Tea and Noodles.

Last shirt worn: A black tee from Old Navy.

Last phone call: Haha, sucker! I don't have a mortgage.

Last text message: I don't like those.

Last thing you touched: My mouse. (computer, you sick bastard)

Last Funeral: My grandmother. Heroin.

Kidding about the heroin.

Last time at the mall: Before the tree holiday.

Last person you saw: John Cusack.

Last thing you drank: Water

Last thing you typed: A creepy fan letter to Regis.

Last Person that broke your Heart: Aaron, when he didn't laugh at my heroin joke.

Last time you were Happy: When I found my robe and warmed up.

Should I get a nose job?

Kyle

Hey! I love (bitch)cake!




Nature Intro...

K

I ate 2005. I may need an antacid.