Is there any other way?
A pants full of assSaturday, October 30, 2004
"I love you all!"
k
Wednesday, October 20, 2004
Here, look... My mom bakes me brownies for my birthday. Delicious, moist, big, go-great-with-milk, ooey-gooey brownies. She boxes them all up nice with wax paper and tape and such, and ships them out via overnight UPS. UPS, being the idiots they are, deliver the package to apt 152, not 162 where I actually live. The people, if you can call them that, SIGN MY F***ING NAME for the package, no doubt smiling at the man in brown the whole time. They must, somewhere deep inside their little minds, know that the right thing to do is to actually take the package over to the correct apartment, to the real Mr. Wheeler, and all will be well. Instead, what these bottom-dwelling liver spots do is... Do you want to guess?
Go ahead and guess.
That's right! They OPEN the package and... dare I even breathe it?... eat a couple of the (MY) brownies! The temerity in that dwelling must have it's own room. Lucky for all parties involved they did not mess with the cards. You all would have seen me on the nightly news, covered in blood that was not my own, being led away, shackled and cackling, ranting about baked goods... A horrible sight. Of course, when I went over there to retrieve my box, I was polite. It was the seething look I gave upon seeing the peeled-back-and-then-resealed tape that will no doubt haunt their dreams for weeks to come.
My mom is baking me more brownies, for this batch is unclean and must be thrown out.
Tuesday, October 12, 2004
Wippa appa deen brrrr zikka ah ah ba ha
K
Monday, October 11, 2004
In this case, I have tickets to the Mitch Hedburg/Stephen Lynch show at the HOB. Pretty excited, I am. Stephen Lynch is so deliciously twisted. Everyone go buy his CD Superhero. You can thank me later, with drinks.
Are you going to the show, dgrace? See Mitch? I'll be looking for you.
Laters
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